* Remember the victims who's lives were lost
* Remember the children who suffer
* Remember the women who can't find the strength or means to get out
* Remember domestic violence knows no boundaries it doesn't matter what your racial background social status or religion
*Remember one day it could be you or someone you love
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS THE WORST KIND OF VIOLENCE THE PERPETRATOR IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE WHO SAYS THEY LOVE YOU
October is on the horizon coming towards us fast. This whole year has gone by pretty fast as a matter of fact. I wanted to take time to make everyone aware that October is "Domestic Violence Awareness Month" among many other issues
Never think the violence is your fault...
For me domestic violence just happens to be a more pressing issue one that I constantly fight to bring to the forefront since I'm a woman who once knew the pain of not loving myself enough to not allow someone to have that kind of control over me and my life and I lost someone I loved due to domestic violence.
I am hoping to have time for the whole month to dedicate a blog of some kind each week in an effort to bring forth awareness as well as hopefully help a woman/man see the light find that they are not alone and reach to seek help. Maybe even help those who haven't experienced it personally get a better understanding of what it is and how to be a support to someone they know who is going through the cycle.
Yes males experience violence in the home as well but are even less likely to seek help because they are afraid that society will see them as weak less than a man due to their circumstances when in all actuality it makes them more of a man to not strike back (in my opinion).
Domestic violence isn't only physical abuse in fact most women I've dealt with including myself will tell you that the physical isn't necessarily the worst part. The bruises of the violence go away with time the verbal and mental aspect of it stays with you for years and some never recover from it continuing to get into unhealthy relationships passing the cycle on to their children.
If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything!!!
THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE
Tension Building Stage:
Tension begins to increase and controlling gets worse;
incidents get progressively worse.
Explosion Stage:
Physical violence: hitting, shoving, slapping, choking, etc.
Threatening with or using weapons.
Loving Stage:
Batterer becomes loving and acts remorseful; sending
flowers, taking you out. May even go to counseling so you
will take him back. Also called the
“Honeymoon Stage”.
THE TENSION BUILDING STAGE
BEGINS AND THE CYCLE IS REPEATED.
AN ABUSER’S POWER & CONTROL
CAN TAKE MANY FORMS
Isolation:
Controlling where she goes, what she does, where she
lives; isolating her from family and friends.
Intimidation:
Putting her in fear by using looks, actions, gestures,
smashing things, destroying her property.
Emotional Abuse:
Insulting and putting her down, jealousy and
possessiveness. Playing mind games.
Economic Abuse:
Trying to keep her from getting a job. Taking her money,
making her ask for money.
s*xual Abuse:
Making her do things against her will. Treating her like a
s*x object. Attacking her body/s*xual parts.
Spiritual Abuse:
Not letting her go to church or church functions.
Not letting her worship in her own way.
Threats:
Threatening harm/kill her or other family members.
Threats to harm or take the children from her.
Animal Abuse:
Neglect or physical abuse to family pets.
EVENTUALLY ALL OF THESE CAN LEAD TO
PHYSICAL ABUSE:
PUSHING, SLAPPING, CHOKING, ETC
WANT OUT?
If you are living with domestic violence, THERE IS HELP.
~ Get practical and emotional advice from the National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline: 0808 2000 247. It's confidential, free and operates 24 hours. The helpline may also be able to help you find emergency accommodation.
~ Talk to a trusted friend or family member. They may be able to offer you a safe place to stay if you need a break or if you decide to leave.
~ Keep a list of essential phone numbers in a safe place. These should include the 24-Hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline 0808 2000 247, your local police station and a solicitor's number.
~ Always keep your mobile fully charged.
REMEMBER...
YOU CAN ALWAYS DIAL 911 EVEN IF
YOU DON'T HAVE MINUTES ON YOUR
CELL PHONE!!!
Checklist for preparing to leave:
Keep a bag packed with the following important items...
Personal items:
A change of clothes and toiletries for you and your children
Some money
Duplicate car key
Medication for you and your children
A child's special toy
Jewelery
Mobile phone charger
Address book
Photographs
Key documents:
Passports
Benefit books
Driver's license
Any court orders/injunctions
Birth certificates for yourself and your children
Divorce papers/marriage license/custody papers
Bank details/account numbers
Credit cards/check books
Mortgage or housing details
National insurance number
Medical cards for you and your children
Pack these items over a period of time.
Only you will know when it is safe to leave.
Keep the bag in a safe and secret place,
perhaps at the home of a relative or friend.
Posted By: TaNisha Gray Juisee Da Queen
Tuesday, September 30th 2008 at 2:58AM
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