So many senseless deaths of children, teens, and now parents.
Why does it take these tragic events to move men to protest,
march, pray, and attempt to have a closer relationship to
their children and families?
Why are houses of worship not providing seminars directed to
men and their children to help them communicate with each other?
With churches on just about every street corner and some having
worship services in our schools, why is there no outreach until death
comes? How can churches beg for monies for church anniversaries,
pastor appreciation dinners, deacon and deaconess events, etc
when we need services now for parents, especially men to learn
how to communicate to their children, involve in church activities
and encouraging men to bring their families to worship service?
Being involved does not mean trying to be holier than or secretly
seeking to impress women and friends or even trying to be
noticed because of clothes, hairstyles, or what kind of car is
driven. It is about learning the roles as fathers in a practical
and spiritual sense. Communities are suffering because
many men are not being men and fathers. Many men are waiting
for others to take the lead in their houses and communities.
This is why mothers are calling sons, “the man of the house”
even at the age of 6,7, 8 and older.
How many men will make time to attend graduation
ceremonies at high schools, middle and elementary schools
in June, but struggled to attend a school open house,
PTA event, field trip or even eat lunch with their children
for 30 minutes. It is interesting NBA playoffs and NFL draft
have so many fathers know who will be in the first, second
or third round of the draft along with statistics, but tussle
to know who their children’s teachers are, what grade
they are in, what grade point average their child has and
what their child’s plans are after graduation.
It is sorely pitiful that some fathers still are not involved
in the graduation processes by helping in some capacity,
but show up at graduation and claim to do so much
and have not done a thing. Fathers should not be so
transparent as to wait until graduation to show up
with their chest stuck out, they should already be
involved, concerned, proactive and vigilant; this can
apply to mothers as well.
The summer break is coming, how many children will
go a summer with empty promises that daddy will come
and see them, take them on a trip, spend time with
them? How many mothers will be selfish and not let
their children go visit their fathers, because of their
inner demons, past hurts that they want to deny the
fathers seeing their children even though they are doing
the right thing. Even if the father does want to be in
the child’s life sometime mothers themselves can be
cruel and keep children from the father. The lesson
that I recently learned is that some fathers
are great fathers, but may be lousy husbands and
some husbands are great in their roles, but lousy
fathers. Knowledge and discernment is the key,
be careful of who you lay with when planning a family.
The responsibilities of a father are unique and divinely
orchestrated. (Matthew 1:20-25) Joseph took upon
the role and responsibility of an earthy father to Jesus
as we learned. Joseph was a stepfather, even in these
biblical times there were surrogate fathers. Stepfathers
do matter and are important; one of
our greatest Presidents (Bill Clinton) had a stepfather.
He praised him for contributing to his growth and welfare.
Jesus had a stepfather and a Heavenly father. Being a
mature and responsible man means making decisions not
just for ones self, but for others in our care. Men are
models to younger generations who watch, seek and
need guidance. This guidance does not always come in
words, but in actions. Our actions speak volumes and
words are mute in the ears of young men who
need to see consistency, maturity, reliability and spirituality.
Father’s spiritual energies at times do not compare to
emotional energies displayed in sports teams and activities
with friends. How different would lives be as fathers
and men if prayer and family life is as strong as enthusiasm
for sports teams? Men love to model “manly behavior”
for sons in sporting events and even partying
how many display the same amount of dedication
and devotion in raising of children? When fathers drink
beer, wine or alcohol watching football, hockey,
basketball and think or say, “I can’t wait for my son
to be old enough to join me!” To coincide with this
when was the last time sons prayed and shared in
devotion with fathers and family? Do men anoint
their sons with oil, lay hands for protection and
speak words of health, wisdom and love?
The world is changing daily, as in Revelation Chapter 1:3
The time is at hand now fathers; children and teens
are killing for drugs, s*x, sport, and other things they
view as momentarily satisfying, but are easily fleeting.
Children are killing mothers and fathers equally
because they are accustomed to getting what they
want, but when denied they cannot handle this and
are possessed by drugs and alcohol.
There is always the silent or vocal question; Where
was his daddy and did they not teach or train him
the proper way to go?
Participating in the recent Real Talk… Real Change forum (http://www.e3businessgroup.org/)
concerning excuses parents give for not being
involved it shows an immaturity and selfishness by
men and in some cases women. No one is perfect,
but there is a detriment to being selfish with time
and energies when it is not directed in the correct way.
How much of a difference would it make in children
respecting and valuing education, valuing their mothers
if fathers are actively modeling respect and a respect
for the power of education? How many deaths could
have been prevented if fathers had been active in
their sons and daughters lives, how many acts of
violence could have been prevented
if mothers would not have denied fathers from
spending time with their sons, even
though the father left, but wanted to still see their
children? The children they helped to create together.
In Matthew Chapter 3:17 God says, “This is my beloved
Son, in whom I am well pleased”. Young men in today’s
society need to hear this from their father’s, members
of our clergy need to remind fathers of their responsibility,
but also must model for men in their congregations.
Nothing is secret any more, it all comes out in the light
eventually so it is better to start off right. Paul tells
the Corinthians that Jesus will expose everything
that has been hidden in the dark to the light. He will
draw out the motives of our hearts.
Maybe if this were demonstrated young men in
communities would not have as many violent deaths
as they do or commit senseless murders especially
again their mothers and siblings. Fathers must
realize the responsibility of their place in a child’s
life regardless if they are in the home or not,
regardless of the “Baby Mama Drama” that sometimes
happens that results from disrespectful language
and actions. It is cowardice of fathers to neglect
communication with their children; to make excuses
not calling, texting, Facebook, Myspace saying
“I love you” and “How are you doing”. It is unconscionable
for mothers to curse fathers when they get angry and
tell the sons they are just like their daddies. It is a
detriment for fathers to denigrate (To treat as worthless;
belittle, degrade or disparage) their daughters by calling
them h***, bit***, and have low expectations for their
successes just because they are female. Another Mothers Day
is approaching, how will families and churches celebrate
mothers that bring life into this world, nurture all of us
even at times when those they nurture are not of their
own blood.
Several weeks remain in the school year, it is inexcusable
for fathers not to take time to eat lunch at school, talk
to teachers, check on grades and offer monetary and
inspirational support. Men can take the time to run
with their Dogs to clubs, golf, and social events, but
struggle to have a conversation that brings them
closer to children. How many more cases of young
men dropping out of school, physical aggression towards
women, drugs, crime and violence will it take for more
men to tell their sons, “I Love You” and I’m proud of
you and there is a better way to grow up.
Fathers shows daughters they are not ho**, bit***,
punching bags, baby making machines. It is up to
fathers to tell their daughters that they can be
doctors, lawyers, teachers, mayors, accountants,
managers and entrepreneurs. Fathering is a balance
of discipline, love, negotiation, trust and communication.
It does not come easy as I can testify being a parent,
a mentor, teacher, and divorced father. I have had
my share of Baby Mama drama; but did not allow this
to keep me from being a father for my children. I have
experienced setbacks, that challenged my money, sanity
and spirituality, but this only made my determination
stronger to be the best father that I can be. To show
my children how strong and resilient I’ am to being in their lives.
The responsibility of men as fathers in their respective roles;
men that respect women, respect community, respect the
power of education and respect and pray to an almighty God.
There are religious leaders that want to protest, yell, scream,
blame, curse and threaten just to see themselves in the spot
light when tragedy happens. Maybe we should allow religious
leaders to use their anointing to come into homes and anoint
families so tragedy maybe prevented. Help fathers gain
discernment to see evil before it happens, be proactive
and not reactive to dangers that possibly await our children.
Members of our clergy, ministry, churches must be right
themselves if they are to lead their flocks.
How many men and women of God are willing to do this
for the glory of God and His kingdom and the service to
his Word they preach on Sundays and Wednesdays?
Our religious leaders should go outside of the church house and
among their sheep to anoint them and their homes to keep them
safe, but fathers have to continue to anoint home and families
after the Pastor or Priest is gone.
Pastors, bishops, priests, come and bless the homes and family
of your congregations.
This cannot be done from inside the church because the devil
attacks when we step outside of the church house and go
our way home.
Posted By: William Jackson
Monday, May 3rd 2010 at 11:38PM
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